Chawyeh aka rabbit ko, this is not a qing shu

是闷了太久

逃避 还是逃不掉难过

你没来帮我

常幻觉电话在振动

我也知道是我想太多

我们都太沉默

安静得太空洞

你没走近陪我

我也不敢跨过

这样的关系 我不懂得享受

是否擦肩而过

这棵树不会结果

不能守侯

不能答应些什么

更不能假装你没出现过

你是我穿着蓝裙时的悸动

亲手剪破的重来也会有伤口

这我懂

后悔擦掉你课本上的乌龟

怎么样都不能挽回

预定了的再见

要怎么说才完美

你要听的是什么

我该做的是什么

我真的很没有用

无法潇洒的放手

又害怕感受

从紧握的手

流逝的失落

我一直以为自己是英雄

没有怎么害怕过

结果还是栽在你手中

我承认你真的很重要

至少在这一秒

我为你睡不着

我在乎你 我想念你 我关心你

不管你知不知道

'兔哥哥', 谢谢

让我决定不再拖拉

我会记得你挺我

希望我以后不会被后悔杀死

因为我真的很怕死

虽然不可能完全没有遗憾

至少会对大家好些公平些

不管对或错

我还有一点的执着

足以战胜懦弱

我抱歉我的不珍惜

让你有了坏回忆

我绝不会忘记你

我依赖的好朋友

我不会要太多

希望永远是朋友

回复:

时间不是解药

这习惯我戒不掉

十年后....

看到一段很有力量的文字

[ 说出来会被嘲笑的梦想

才有实践的价值

就算跌到了

姿势也是很豪迈的 ]

快毕业了

快要下车, 到下一站再出发了.

即将站在既是终点,

亦是起点的路口.

是犹豫? 惆怅? 期待? 向往? 失措? 淡然?

朋友们好像都有蛮伟大的目标.

也许会有些困难有些迷惘

但都加油吧.

因为我希望多年后再相遇

大家都过着自己想过的生活.

所以 我也要努力了.

希望 我能照着计划

一步一步地走到下一个目的地

然后遇见

十年后的我

............................................................................

给特别的你

或许习惯了伪装
我忘了怎么诚实

找不到一个位置给你
无论放在那里都很奇怪
一开始就是错误
无法继续 亦不能回头
这个句点不漂亮
对不起


我太迟钝
当习惯变成依赖
我想我应该立刻抽离

据说一个动作持续维持21天
就会习惯
我会等待第21天的到来
然后删除电话里仅有的所有

该说对不起的人是我
请原谅我的无理取闹

我想你不知道我到底在想什么
我自己也不懂
我只是不愿意在去承担自己莫名奇妙的情绪



只想说
抱歉
这段友情太不实在
谢谢
你陪我度过的每一个时刻
再见
请好好照顾自己

20/7

Early in the morning, julin told me tze bey cant go gurney.
so, not going to watch harry potter d.
During mm lesson, teacher asked
' yinyee, who stole ur heart ki?'
really restless this few days.
cant sit still pun.

After school, went to watch basketball competition.
Actually just wanna ponteng civics lesson which take over by history teacher.
i asked yun yan to do something yam at canteen.
she saw ~~~.... XD XD
we laughed.

3.00pm, after yunyan went back, i'm bored.
went back without knowing the result.
but it's okay larh.
because i dont know how to see pun. XP

Sleep till 7.++pm
no tuition tonight.
have a nice chat.
ky told me a super shocking 8 gua news.
ahahahahaha
congratz ya.
wish u two friends forever! XD

sambil sms sambil do revision.
ermmmm
cant say is revision pun.
because i never read it before.
hahaz
finally finished my physics f5 chapter 3
my hands trembled and my heart felt weird.
cant sleep.
Ails.. Maybe i had taken too much caffein d.
drank quite a lot coffee.
at last, sleep at 3.++ am.
one day end.

I have no confident..

I saw a quote from the cover of a note book in MPH.
It's meaningful.

Dance as nobody is watching you.

Love as you had never been hurt before.

Sing as nobody could hear you.

Live as the way you want.

( This is i sendiri tambah mia)

I not dare to dance and sing in front of people.

because I know that i'm not good at it.

I'm afraid of others' watching eyes.

But, why should I scare?

I not dare to love.

Not dare to show my affection to my love ones.

So, I'm still a single for seventeen years.

I have never been hurt badly before.

I have no scar.

But, why should I afraid?

I found the answer.

I have no confident.

I have nothing to proud of.

However, I'm too pride.

And not dare to let people see

I'M LOSE.

I know I should change.

I'll try to change

when I feel free to do it.

=]

Daily post

17/7/09

Today is hui yin's birthday.

We celebrated at little cottage.

Chatting and laughing at there.

Till 3pm, the waitress asked us to pay bills and they wanted to close d.

We didn't behave like a lady. XD

Thought we were eating at school canteen or Good All.



Walked back to school after that.

Went Gurney with hy and yl.

Saw ppl pak toh at one stop.

Strolled in Popular and MPH.



Rush back to school at 6.++pm

As my motor and their bags were still in school,

we had to walk in opposite direction with afternoon session student.

Jalan Gottlieb is really crowed when school dismissed.



Reached home around 7pm.

Tired.

Sms on bed then went tuition.



Klinik Ayat again.

He used more than half an hour to semak ayat.

Then i kept watching Kitty's dream lover since sm said i look alike with him.

Haih.

Because he more good looking.

hahaz

It's doesn't matter.

Sms till half

my phone turned black.

Aiks, no battery.

So i was bored during ttn

but for the first time,

i was so concentrate.

maybe i really have to change my attitude.



10.30pm went home to get my full u,

iron it for tomorrow's inspection duty.



11.++pm

SLEEP

Zzzz



................................................................................................................





18/7



Wake up early and went to duty

This is the 2nd duty i attended this year.

I didn't late

Someone more senior and more 'high-ranked' and 3 of her friends late for 30 minutes without reason.

F3 are bad.

They asked me to write report for the duty because I'm the only F5 who attend this duty.

Certainly, i'll not be so good and let them bully. XD

I was struggling to wear my barret or not.
I wore but then took it off.
It is too tight and unbreathable.
When an officer talking with me about the duty thing,
a 'PENG HWA HIGH RANKED' person interrupt,
'yin yee, put on ur barret.' in front of everyone.
hey
u thought who u are?
A person who has no contribution, no experience, no knowledge, no leadership, no brain but having 3 stripes of things which we wondered ' are you deserved?'
Its okay.
I know i should be disciplined.
I wore it.

Somebody fainted.
We standby near ambulance there.
Finally the SENIORS came to ganti us.
U showed ur brainlessness.
What?
U have 5 person.
U want to ganti 3 person from my group and 2 person in another group.
Why don't u sekaligus ganti one group then make a duty roster within these four group of first aider?
Ur planning is sooooo unsystematic.
and i wondered how u lead ur members?
Did u think before u said?
Do u know how to an pai ren shou?
If u don't know,
Please diam diam.

U showed ur stupidity.
U, the commander, the sarjan
U urself give the wrong command,
for thrice or twice,
u didnt realise
still give us ur @!#$%#*$#$@! face.
ur eyes are small, but i'm sure u still can see we already squad.

U showed ur foolishness
officer asked u got how many casualty,
what for u shouting at us who in barisan?
u expect who will go count the numbers of casualty without ordered?
U go ask ' who is the casualty please raise ur hand.' in mandarin.
didn't u see malay girls there?
U thought every chinese know mandarin?
U have no commonsense.

U showed ur idiotic.
There is not a big problem.
There was no specific pack of food for first aider.
so just ask them to take from their school leader larh.
Furthermore, every first aider will go gather with their school after the duty.
and there was only four school on duty.
Does it a difficult task?
Do u think a pack of food will appear if u keep asking to ah hean?
A simple problem solving u also dont know.
U are not qualified to be act as a SENIOR.
I really hope that we can work togather in peace with u all which new to here.
But u showed that u are unwilling to.

I'll respect you if you respect others.
But, you showed that you are not.


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